I was going to start this post with everyone has an iPad, but then I realized that most everyone does not have an iPad. The scene from sillysongs with Larry “Every one has a Water Buffalo” Just before I posted Alfred the asparagus ran in front of my fingers yelling “Stop! Stop! Can you imagine the E-mails we’ll get? “I don’t have an iPad. Where’s my iPad?”” I almost wet my pants. That was when I realized the cactus juice I had drunk earlier this morning was probably not healthy. I made a mental note to burn the cactus it had come from.
That was when the circle birds showed up.
If any one gets the reference I just made there you should leave a comment and I will give you one free topic choice. ( you give me a topic and I will blog about it. Some exceptions apply. See back for details.)
So now, with all the rambling done, to the meat of the post!
Flappy Bird : Flappy Bird is terrible for your health. It produces what I call Los Años De Tenajios in those who play the game. The symptoms include irritableness, sleep loss, high levels of procrastination, and an over all gloomy demeanor. So why is this app on my top(ish) 5? Because I quit. Quitting flappy bird is the most glorious thing a person can experience. As I put the iPad down that day, I knew I was a better man.
Google Translate: I take Spanish. It’s one of my classes in school. More than that, it is one of my favorite classes. I love to figure things out and put together the pieces of what I am taught so that I can try to say more things. The problem however, is that I’m almost the only one in my class who feels that way. In the middle of a class of h pronouncing subpar students, I have to wait for others to catch up before me and the other “try-hards” can learn new words from the teacher. That is where Google translate kicks in. Using it I can piece together more pieces of the puzzle, learning words that I want to know.
Disco Zoo: What is more fun than owning a zoo? A: Owning a zoo that you can carry in your pocket. Disco zoo gives you the whole zoo owning experience– without all those nasty complaints and taxes and stuff! You can buy different flying machines to go to different regions of the world and rescue animals. These animals join your zoo, and every 5 animals you get, the more money they make! It’s an awesome game, free and fun too
Telligami: Have you ever stared down a possessed demon man? With Telligami you can! This app was created for presentation making, but is better suited for a portable freak show. You can make a animated person that either moves his mouth to a recording of your voice, or gives voice to text you type. That’s all fine and dandy, right? It’s when you try to give it a facial expression that Lucifer shows up. The faces that are programmed into the speaker are creepy as any horror movie times 3, and one face– called silly– makes you look for the nearest bucket. So if your into demon worshiping and stuff, download Telligami now!
Surgeon Simulator: If I had a dollar for every time some one asked me to app share this to them, I would have enough money to buy it for them. They are persistent, and are constantly bothering me. I like to view it as good practicing for saying no. But I digress– If you can, think of the most unrealistic thing you can, then multiply the unrealism by 5000. Now add a ton of gore and violence. Vualoh- Surgeon Simulator. In the game you get to be a surgeon, and your patient is a poor fellow named Bob. You can do a kidney, heart, eye, or tooth transplant. To do the heart transplant, you must first cut out the rig cage. Toss that. Now take out the lungs. Toss those. Proceed to cut out the stomach and esophagus. Toss ’em. Finally, chop out the heart. Into the trash. Now take the new heart and kinda shove it in the empty chest. You’re done! I am sure the guy will be fine, who needs to breathe?
So if you’re ever in the need for a new way to kill brain cells, look no further than these phenomenal apps!
Note about earlier challenge: if you win, only G(ish) topics will be accepted. All topics subject to disposal. You may submit your idea through comments. Notification of winning is submitted through comments. Good luck!